• Skua
    link
    fedilink
    11622 days ago

    Gallium? It’s solid at room temperature, but your own body heat will melt it, so you lie down on a solid block of metal and then slowly sink into a melting puddle in the middle of it. It’s non-toxic and six times denser than water so you’d be really floaty on it too

    • HobbitFoot
      link
      fedilink
      English
      8322 days ago

      Sounds like something out of a horror film. Your body heat melts you into the material. Then, as heat gets distributed and you have more skin contact, you are no longer generating enough heat to keep the gallium melted.

      You either suffocate as the material solidifies around your abdomen or you freeze to death as the material pulls enough heat from you to kill you.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        3122 days ago

        Actually because of the density you wont be able to sink more than about 1/6th of your body into it.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          26
          edit-2
          21 days ago

          I feel like this is worth uploading to Lemmy. It’s an image, apparently from October 1972’s National Geographic, of a Spanish miner floating on mercury:

          It’s denser than lead, so he’s just sitting on the top of it like a block of styrofoam would on water. The effect of gallium would not be quite so pronounced, but same idea. This is also why you can’t really drown in quicksand unless you work at it (which, if you completely panic, isn’t impossible).

          Meanwhile, you sink straight to the bottom in anything like oil, with no hope of swimming.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          721 days ago

          So, if you laid on a large enough block of it, you’d have the perfect shape to make a mold for a customized foam mattress?

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            8
            edit-2
            21 days ago

            I suspect there’s an easier choice, if a dense bed is all you need. Every liter of the stuff goes for 872 USD as of 2019. And that’s not even bad, considering how rare it is and how great the semiconductors you can make with it are. It’s neighbor germanium is another digit up.

            Edit: Wow, somebody already linked this exact thing elsewhere.

      • Skua
        link
        fedilink
        2722 days ago

        Well that does make it quite regrettable for most people, I suppose

      • @[email protected]OP
        link
        fedilink
        221 days ago

        Hmm! Quite the investment vehicle!
        (I’m now just picturing tech bros smugly smiling with bathtubs full of gallium)

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      29
      edit-2
      22 days ago

      It might act like a giant heatsink tho, making your body cool out as soon as it starts melting and creating proper surface contact. But chilling in 20°C water is also not really an issue so i guess it depends on the thermal conductivity of the skin/gallium interface.

    • Owl
      link
      fedilink
      722 days ago

      You don’t want it to get in your body (holes, cuts etc…)

    • lime!
      link
      fedilink
      English
      622 days ago

      the physical description also applies to butter

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    4322 days ago

    Maybe coconut water or aloe vera gel, I imagine it’d feel weird but probably not regrettable.

    I guess we’ve got to beat Cleopatra as our baseline with her bath of asp milk.

    Marmite would probably veer into the regrettable category, and I’m saying that as a marmite enjoyer

    • @[email protected]OP
      link
      fedilink
      2022 days ago

      coconut water

      in a heartbeat

      aloe vera

      I can imagine this feeling really tingly after a while, though not sure why.

      asp milk

      what is this? I googled and found nothing

      marmite

      I too partake joyfully in that hellish sludge, and have wondered what depths of depravity I would willingly go to to satisfy that dark craving

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        1522 days ago

        what is this? I googled and found nothing

        Ah I got my history slightly wrong, she bathed in donkey milk and just liked asps (a kind of snake)

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          622 days ago

          The asses’ milk would moisturize skin. I assume a water rinse though, because old milk stinks and could cause a yeast infection.

          The asp was legendarily her choice to commit suicide, though it was probably an Egyptian Cobra, if it was a snake at all. (Asp bite death is slower and much more painful than cobra bite death.) I have a theory that the asp legend depends partly on the fact it’s easier to rhyme “asp” than Egyptian Cobra. As for snakebite in general, I note that male artists have universally portrayed the snake biting her on her bare booby. That’s not actually a good way to get the venom quickly to the heart/brain/lungs, because boobies are mostly fat, but it makes good pornArt.

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            421 days ago

            It’s actually referred to by the longer aspic in Shakespeare (alongside some very questionable herpetology), which is the main place I imagine there would be influential Cleopatra rhymes in English. According to Wikipedia, they’re both the same snake anyway.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      822 days ago

      You’ve got two Cleopatra stories mixed up there.

      She was said to bathe in ass’s (donkey’s) milk.

      She killed herself by holding an asp (snake) to her breast.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    2922 days ago

    Oobleck for the experience. It wouldn’t clean you, but you’d have a story. Possibly mild regret if it’s in a bathtub that you need to clean or a house who’s plumbing you’re responsible for afterwards.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    2522 days ago

    Water based lube.

    It’d have to be a communal bath though, and I’m inviting you all, even Hairy Steve.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      4
      edit-2
      21 days ago

      My goodness, that’s almost a bucket list item.

      Hmm. I wonder how steeped would be best for maximum soothing. Unless it’s a heated tub there would be a real art to the timing, even once you know.

  • qyron
    link
    fedilink
    1422 days ago

    Alcoholic beverages

    • white wine (but a dip into red would be interesting)
    • beer, for the carbonation
    • champagne, for the bubbles and the decadence of it

    Other liquids

    • sparkling water, a jacuzzi without one
    • rose water (for those who don’t know, it is sickly sweet smelling and very persistent and can be food grade)
    • oil, like sunflower, olive or any other of the like. After, just scrape you body, like the ancient athletes would do
    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      1922 days ago

      I read these to my husband and he said “an oil bath sounds like it would be good for your skin but you’d be all slipping around and unable to get out then you’d drown.” While flailing his arms around as a visual aid.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    1322 days ago

    Zero sugar energy drinks.

    No sugar means its not gonna get sticky, it’d rinse right off.

    I imagine a bunch of creams already use the b vitamins you’d get since they love shoving b vitamins in those.

    And it’ll actually drain when you’re done and a quick rinse will get everything normal afterwards.

  • Smuuthbrane
    link
    fedilink
    English
    1222 days ago

    A mixture of Vaseline and baby oil, just enough to keep it liquified.

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            222 days ago

            Cold press is the method, extra virgin means first pressing. After the first go, you start to get more baby juices and solids mixed in with the oil.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        422 days ago

        Traditionally, Mineral oil + fragrance

        Mineral oil is also known as paraffin oil and is usually a petrochemical derivative composed of larger alkane hydrcarbons. Fragrance varies a lot.

  • Nis
    link
    fedilink
    English
    1222 days ago

    I was going to say heavy water, but TIL that it’s not just chonky water. It can be toxic.

    • MaxMalRichtig
      link
      fedilink
      422 days ago

      Only if you drink it in considerable amounts. Should be pretty fine for a bath though.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      3
      edit-2
      21 days ago

      Like, barely toxic. Table salt will kill you faster.

      One line of evidence for this is a literal mixup at a nuclear plant where they managed to put it in the water cooler for an extended period, with no ill effects.

  • Phenomephrene
    link
    fedilink
    1122 days ago

    Vanta Black

    I’m gambling that the experience of it would mitigate how much of a pain in the ass the repercussions would be.

    Edit: I suppose I ought to have looked before, but this appears to be not the healthiest decision (who’d have though‽). Maybe we’ll go with some kind of closest equivalent nontoxic paint?

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      422 days ago

      Vantablack isn’t really paint, it’s a coating of nanotubes the size of an atom. I wonder what that would feel like.

      • Phenomephrene
        link
        fedilink
        222 days ago

        Yeah, after I looked at it a bit and saw that exposure to/inhaling nanotubes probably isn’t the greatest idea I figured nontoxic paint was the next go to.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          121 days ago

          It’s also grown on aluminum rather than applied as a paint IIRC. You’ll have to go with basic hardware store stuff if you want to go for a dip, probably.

    • @[email protected]OP
      link
      fedilink
      3
      edit-2
      22 days ago

      On the morbidly curious side of things, I do wonder what such a person looks like. You would just notice the eyes and the hair. Everything else would just be stark contrast.

      There’s also the whole, “went vanta black face” issue