Just so you know I’m judging everyone in this thread.
Stealth mostly
What makes a sneaker stealthy?
they can sneak well
Ahh, so like when you get those new sneakers that squeak when you wear them would not be idea?
to explain the joke - “a sneaker is someone who sneaks” rather than sneaker meaning shoe
As a British, this is initially how I understood the question. We call “sneakers” trainers.
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A cunning linguist for sure.
And comfort!
I am more for sneaky sprint, because I don’t have the super jump ability.
Spiders.
Stealth.
Cut to the shape of an actual foot and flexible/minimalistic sole. I live in the Midwest, so I’ll compromise some ok sole thickness in the winter. Standing in snow with my kid at the bus stop in minimalistic soles and even thicker socks makes for quick feet.
Shape of your foot? I don’t understand why you would want your toes/foot contorted. I do not understand shoes that have a point in the middle of them. Either you’re smashing your toes together or your making something stick out in front of your foot that will mess up your gate.
Minimalistic sole? This will get you landing more softly on your heel and help you use the balls of your feet more. It’s amazing to me how thick/soft the soles of some shoes are. I suspect they’re necessary to compensate for the way a lot of us walk.
My feet feel fantastic and my motion feels very natural.
Cut to the shape of an actual foot […] I don’t understand why you would want your toes/foot contorted
So much this! This is literally my criteria 1, 2 and 3 when choosing a sneaker, too.
And there is now so little choice! Bullet-shaped sneakers have basically won the war against foot-shaped sneakers. I get the idea of design memes (think: fins on 1950s cars) but personally this one is completely mystifying to me. After all, sneakers code as “masculine”, but what is less masculine than something that looks like a ballet shoe?? I don’t get it!
Come to think of it, maybe that’s the explanation - maybe it’s a corporate plot to make sports shoes unisex?
BTW my two go-to vintage solutions are the New Balance 574 and the Onitsuka Ultimate 81. Coz it seems sneakers weren’t shaped like medieval court shoes back in the early 80s! But get this: as far as I can tell, the Ultimate 81s are no longer produced and Asics has replaced them with a carbon-copy “new look” model which seem identical in every way except one - yes, they are now bullet-shaped! It’s crazymaking!
For the sake of sanity (and budget) I’ve decided to give up and go with the flow. Currently rocking a pair of Under Armour which are un-foot-shaped and ugly as hell but comfortable enough.
And there is now so little choice!
There has been a consolidation of the major brands, but there’s a pretty solid niche market around foot shaped shoes.
Vibrams are the extreme. Birkenstock sneakers are pretty well shaped, but their soles are a bit rigid. I don’t mean that in a comfort way, I mean that in a bendable way.
More recent, to me at least, entrants are groundies, xero shoes, Barebarics, belenka, and a ton more.
To clarify, I’m in Europe. None of these brands are available in shops, you’d have to order them.
Just the way you guys are reeling off all these names is so American! Reminds me of the trope of asking advice on the internet. “What should I use to clean my shower?” - Americans will list 10 brand-names, Europeans will say “bleach”. :)
You’re not going to find any of those in stores in the US either. Of all the brands i rattled off, the only one you can reliably find here is Birkenstock. However, you’re not going to find their shoes or boots. I had to order those from the web.
Xero shoes are a US brand, but I’ve never seen them in a store here. Groundies are German. Barebaics and Belanka are both from Slovakia.
The internet is a beautiful thing. Yeah, shipping from all over can be a bit slow but with standard measurements it’s not hard to order shoes that will fit correctly out of the gate.
Interesting. I stand corrected then! Thanks for the tips.
The only things i look for in a shoe are small pieces of gravel that sometimes get in there.
But seriously: comfort/ support, and a big 'Ole loop on the back to make them easy to pull on.
Feet.
Like before you put them on?
No, that would be weird. Why are you making it weird? Just feet, man, not the rest of a person, just their feet. Why are you making it weird. No legs or other squicky bits, just the feet.
You’ve got to check out the B.C. coast.
Width. Most shoes are too narrow and pointy
Same
I do my own sneaking these days. No need to hire someone to do a job you can easily do yourself.
My job requires me to be on my feet constantly. I’m looking for all-day comfort, durability, support, overall quality, and a fair price. “Fair” doesn’t necessarily mean “low”. An inexpensive pair of sneakers can cost more over time if I have to replace them every year.
If I can find them I know they are a bad sneaker so I will avoid.
durability and comfort over time. all shoes feel bouncy and nifty when new.
honestly the ideal dad shoe appears to be a new balance cross trainer from my experience. nike, adidas, new balance, sketchers and other shoes in the last few years - nb and sketchers appear to hold up better and feel better after a few hundred miles. YMMV, I do have like, goblin feet.
i have about 18 pair of the exact same shoe in different colors. keds::champion. i look for unique/old versions of this shoe
Birds.
One morning I got up and found an explosion of feathers in the entry. I mentally said goodbye to the owner and decided it must be the smallest cat - because there was no sign of the bird and she eats everything.
Imagine my surprise when I went to put my shoe on and there was something soft and warm under my foot. There was a still-living, apparently unharmed, sparrow hiding in my sneaker. I released it outside and went on my way.
Not the most pleasant experience, but I’m luckier than my mother-in-law who found one of these in her shoe. They bite when they feel threatened - that’s how she found it.
I like how you never let a good question go to waste.
