You can hang on to the penis of someone who’s climbing.
You can also buy an auto-jacker and go hands free.
I love living in the future
Does the auto-jacker go on the penis or the ladder? Honestly sounds like it could work for either one.
Don’t let them upsell you on an auto jacker, the manual ones work just fine.
I hate being on ladders, I’ll stay down here with the penises.
Hello.
Thanks for assuming it’s a handful
What if I make a penis ladder? Buncha dudes with raging hard boners standing on each other’s shoulders. Two towers of this, with the tips touching.
What songs lyrics are these fire verses???
This is gonna drive me insane wondering what tune you sung those words to in your head. 😬
(To be absolutely fair I was hoping someone would adjust them a little to go along with a good tune. But it’s still poetry.)
Bloodhail by Have A Nice Life?
“Faces sweaty, arms and legs, what a glorious set of stairs we make” 😉
If the boners are consistently rigid enough, you might be able to space them out a little to allow for a wider climbing stance, considering the tip-to-tip pressure would be unlikely to generate much added support for your bodyweight.
Hopefully it doesn’t take more than four hours to ascend.
So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.
I know it’s shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you’re alone, isn’t the whole point of the Bible that you don’t have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God’s grace?
I.don’t understand evangelicalism.
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
Yes, I agree. I meant the point about heaven 🙂.
Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.
What about two penises
What do you think the ladder is made of?
Penises obviously.
Watch me climb the dick ladder mouth first.
I heard that ladder had like, 30 goddamn dicks
Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.
Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I’ll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.
I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.
My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.
I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I’ve gotta say, I’m worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth… And hes like all apologizing … “Sorry, it’s been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning.” So on and so on.
All the while knowing he was intimidated by me swinging around my rock hard cock yelling “Look mom! No hands!”
No!?! Watch me!!!
TBH I could easily climb 1 handed.
Just switch which hand grabs your johnson as you climb each rung.
Or you can skip the rungs and hold the side of the ladder.
Then at the top Kermit the Frog is waiting “each rung represents a sin in life to overcome. Try again.” and kicks me down to the bottom.
🎶 What’s love but a second hand in motion. 🎶
