Years and years ago, I was really active on a forum, and one of the members did this world trip, couch surfing with different members of the forum and seeing the world. She and I weren’t good friends. In fact, she irritated me a bit, nothing in particular, just… Didn’t vibe. At all. But a leg of her trip was taking through my state, and she needed a place to crash, so I said fuck it, sure.
She stayed with her best friend from the forum in Boston, and it was a complete bust. They didn’t get along, Boston friend found her irritating, grating, and overwhelmingly boring.
Then she got to my place, and I made a new best friend. We got along so well she stayed an extra 2 days, and we had a fucking blast.
Irl/online can be a major difference, one from the other
Most people hate me both online and in person.
Count me in, you fucker
🥰
I feel ya. Same way
You must be very consistent across the board. Can I ask what people hate about you?
I’m a confident asshole that will consistently disappoint you, baby. Some folks find that charming at first but I’m always able to eventually correct their misconception.
Fuck you, I’m in
That doesn’t sound very confident.
See, I’ve disappointed you already. It’s a gift.
I hate clicking links.
Very true. I had someone I was friends with IRL who I would talk about my online roleplay community with. I asked if she was interested in joining and she said sure. She was… insufferable. Did not get along with anyone else. I found her online presence incredibly grating. It was crazy, it was a completely different person.
I’ve got a good friend who played D&D with us a couple times and found out real quick that not all friend groups are okay with overlapping. It was awful
My writing words and my speaking words are very different. Writing is much better. All but one of my girlfriends over the last 20 years were chatted up online/email/sms first. IRL, they’d probably have been put off by my verbal hesitation, and my glancing at their knockers ever 10 seconds (a habit I find it impossible to break without intense concentration on not doing it)
I was once really excited to meet a forum friend on whom I’d been crushing on a little as we were going to attend the same event, and she brought along a forum newbie who lived near her and who I didn’t really know all that well.
It turned out my crush and I had just platonically friendly vibes in person, but her friend and I had an immediate major connection and ended up dating seriously for a year.
I met my internet best friend this summer and I think that’s how she felt about me.
We had an okay time together but our friendship doesn’t feel the same anymore (in a bad way) and it’s 100% my fault because I was agressively insecure all the time. I was meeting someone from the internet for the very first time and it was also the very first time I left my country completely on my own.
However, that trip and meetup changed me a lot for the better. I feel like I matured a lot after that.
I hope she will forgive me and give me a second chance. I will also very much understand if she doesn’t.
Have you talked to her about how you feel?
No, I haven’t.
I know that I should but I’m having a hard time getting myself to talk about it.
Easiest way out which will still be helpful: send her the link to that comment of yours.
I was actually thinking about that.
I second you should send her that link.
It’s very possible that she felt nervous or something too.
I want to be in the comments as well. Good luck
Thank you :)
It’s very possible that she felt nervous or something too.
She was nervous as well. The fact that I was nervous was not the problem, but the way I expressed it was. When I’m nervous/anxious I tend to take it out on others and basically try to drag others down with me and when she’s nervous she very much keeps it to herself.
Is it possible that all of that is in your head and it’s just your insecurities talking? It’s actually super common to feel like your friends don’t like you because you were super awkward, when in reality it’s exclusively in your head. I’ve been on both sides of this situation multiple times, and 100% of the time it was absolutely a false feeling.
Maybe… 🤔
Wait I don’t understand, is that instant pizza brand mid?
I think there is no deeper meaning to this. It just do be like dat sometimes, people are different irl than online.
yes, feels like the pic is only meant to situate, like “I’m here in this situation”
I think it might be the way her fingers are holding that box
it’s a video so I think that like said it’s just situating that it’s who’s she’s with rn and she hates the IRL version of her online best friend. Itdoes go with the argument that could be made, that online human interaction aren’t a 100% “real”.
They can be, but verifying everything is close to factual is hard to do. I do think that what makes the friendship is key - if it’s something that’s enjoyed online, then odds are you aren’t going to be completely compatible IRL with other things, maybe even most things past the one thing you share. If it’s more general things, then the odds go up a bit, but you still don’t know the “vibe” the person gives off in reality, so there could be traits that you’re better off not knowing about. However, I met my wife online (back before “real” internet on Quantum Link, a national BBS for C-64) and we’re still compatible, so it can happen. Granted, it was a lot different then, but there were fakes and scammers then too.
Oh great, we’ve got an internet truther here.
Mate, the internet exists. It’s part of reality. It’s not a fantasy otherworld.
nah bro just trying to get a conversation going, not saying that what i said is a truth.
CRAB PEOPLE CRAB PEOPLE
Completely unrelatable, but I’m really sorry for anyone this happens to.
Going to meet an internet friend abroad in three days, and I am petrified 🥲
Counterexample. Over the pandemic I met some people as a d&d group. Two years later we all met up for a vacation together and had a blast (ok one woman didn’t vibe great but the rest did). This past year at one’s wedding we met each others’ partners and everyone had an amazing time. In fact we had such a good time that when my wife and I were deciding what blue city to flee our red state to we picked the home city of one of those friends, and we’re going to crash with her for a little while while we look for an apartment. In addition to being closer to her, the whole friend group will be on the west coast making trips together easier, which we’re all excited for
Thats good, that makes me feel a bit easier; hearing success stories. I’m still just a teen who’s never traveled outside of countries where I know I have a safety net, so this is a bit stressful.
Regarding the part about fleeing your state, I am not american, but I hope you guys find a safe environment, and I hope you work through the troubles brewing in your country right now.
Yeah its gonna be stressful and I can’t tell you it will go well, but it might. Adventures like this are good for people your age as well. Having a plan for if it goes poorly is a good idea. Video calling beforehand is generally wise because it can guarantee you aren’t being catfished and that you vibe in real time.
Go in expecting a good time and prepared to show a good time. And while it sucks if irl you don’t get along it’s ok. There’s a saying in America that bad times make for good stories. Your teenage and young adult years are for adventures and building experience. It’s scary and exciting and no matter how it goes you’ll probably be glad you did it when you’re older.
My story isn’t even the only great time I’ve had with internet friends. If I’m near anyone I know these days I’ll at least try to swing by for a meal.
So what’s most likely to happen? Probably a generally good time. Nothing life changing in any direction though your age is one in which life is quite malleable and it’s downright common to have life-changing experiences at that age. But it should be fun, and you’ll likely stay friends. It’s quite likely the friendship will be different afterwards but not worse, just closer and informed by how it felt to be in the same space. Inside jokes are likely to happen also.
Thanks, I’m sad it’s needed but also excited and I choose to maintain hope that good will win both here and abroad.
Best of luck, have fun on your trip
This is why I haven’t seen my online friend yet despite the fact that we live in the same city now lol
How do people even have online friends, I only have occasional chats with strangers on Reddit or Lemmy but I wouldn’t call anyone a friend let alone meet them in real life
I think the easiest answer is to play online games with a mic until you meet someone you click with then make a discord and grow it. That’s what I did when I had online friends at least.
Yeah that sounds good, but English isn’t my first language and I’m not that good at any games. Still worth a shot
I have a solid squad of 6 that have been playing Xbox together for 15 years. We’re all friends scattered across the country and have never met IRL.
We are bros though
Edit: my best friend met his now wife while playing LOL.
My best friend met his now wife because one of our (IRL) friends met her while playing Roblox…
How do you call someone you have known thru irc, skype and now discord, for 20+years, but never met in life? Those strangers probably knows things my family does not
