No no, in Soviet Russia, beans count you.

Maybe the screen process wasn’t as good when mother had to look. Small rocks are just going to be something that gets picked up occasionally if they’re being machine harvested.

Lots of bags of dry beans have rocks. Little black pebbles usually, like coarse sand.

Some brands have them more often than others but you can easily break a tooth on them so I always toss them on the counter and scoot them around to check.

Every bag of dried beans I’ve seen tells you to inspect them for rocks, since they are an agricultural product. I’ve never found one though.

I’ve found lots of rocks in bags of beans over the years, could be a regional or economic thing too (just as a point of reference, I grew up really poor in the South). As a kid I remember pouring them out on a backing sheet to sort them, little did I realize I’d end up doing something similar as a teen with an AOL CD tin.

Most agricultural products go through screening to remove unwanted materials, but these systems can miss items that closely resemble the food in size and appearance. For example, I once bit into a rock that looked exactly like an almond in a bag of almonds. While it’s a rare occurrence, it’s still important to stay cautious. If something like this happens, contact the company and provide the product’s serial or lot number. This helps them trace where and when it was packaged and check if there was a problem with the screening process.

“15 bean soup is great but you gotta check the packet for rocks” is the most American thing I’ve read today.

Sure!

TLDR: mirepoix, garlic, ground mustard, ground thyme, basil, salt, pepper, bacon

I cut a pack of decent quality bacon into strips and start it a sizzlin

Then, dice equal parts carrot, onion, and celery (mirepoix) while the bacon is cooking

I crank the heat and sautee the mirepoix in the pan with the bacon, then I add the beans with the soak water and some salt (don’t go crazy, the bacon has salt too, and I add cheese at serving also)

Bring to boil and then reduce to simmer until the beans are mostly cooked, stirring and adding water as needed.

When things are cooked pretty well throw in a diced tomato (or a can), a bulb of crushed garlic, ground mustard, dried basil, and ground thyme. Let it cook a bit until the flavors develop, then adjust seasoning, salt, pepper etc. Sorry I don’t have measurements, I eyeball everything. I cook the soup a long time so by the end it will stick if you don’t stir fairly frequently because the lentils and some beans have dissolved. I like the soup thicc so that also contributes to it sticking.

The thyme and basil are the stars here, the thyme especially.

I usually eat it with some rice and some grated Monterey Jack cheese on top.

I use jasmine rice and put a small amount of olive oil in the pan, then crush a garlic clove per cup of rice I’m cooking and sautee gently (don’t burn it!) as soon as the garlic has cooked a bit I add a cup of dry rice to the pan and stir it around real good, add the water, and salt it. Rice should not be bland, motherfuckers!

Nice! Maybe I’ll try that. What else did you have in the pot?

I do as well in addition to the seasoning packet. I’ve grown to really like the seasonig with it. The smoked ham takes it to another level entirely, though.

He barely has to wipe.

Doesn’t the body get used to eating that many beans? Like, Mexicans eat them all the time. Also I eat them as often as I can and I don’t think they really affect me that much.

Your body gets used to it. That’s not a problem.

TONIIIIIIIIIGHT I’LL FLYYYY

I’m a scientist. Beans are a fruit, of the musical variety.

I miss fruit.

Be careful with cheap spices. If it’s from a trusted brand, sure, go for it. Whole spices tend to be more trustworthy than powders (and sometimes cheaper). But there have been some instances of heavy metal contamination of cheap powdered spices. Especially the imported powders you’ll see a lot in international grocery stores. Even if it is safe, you don’t know how long it’s been sitting in the store or waiting in a far away warehouse.

If you see super-cheap cinnamon, it’s usually Cassia cinnamon, which contains high levels of coumarin, a blood thinner. “Real” cinnamon is Ceylon. It’s more expensive, but has much lower levels of coumarin, and most prefer its more delicate flavor. Afaik labels aren’t required to disclose what kind of cinnamon you’re buying, but the more reputable brands sell the Ceylon variety and label it as such. You can also get whole cinnamon, and the two varieties are easy to tell apart.

I like getting spices from stores with a bulk spices section. e.g., if you need a tbsp of cinnamon, or a single star anise, a very specific amount of something you’ll only use once, etc… you put only what you need in a little container and purchase it by weight. It will be super cheap compared to a whole prepackaged container and you’ll always have a fresh product with no waste. You can even bring/reuse your own containers! A lot of local food co-ops have a bulk area with spices. “Frontier Co-op” is a popular vendor for bulk sets, and their stuff is vetted and super high quality. Best of both worlds IMO.

Solid advice, I highly endorse it.

I’ve been like this for months. I’m miserable. I’m a vegetarian because I hate animals. I have high blood pressure so I cut out animal fat and booze.

not really. Especially if you have access to vegan chick’n nuggies and corn dogs and junk.

I hear they call you “Beano.”

Asking the real questions

Oh, sure, it’s fine with Skittles, but do that with people and they get all mad about it.

Why assume there are 6 beans in a spoonful? Maybe 15 choose 8 is a more common scoop… Assume no partial beans in spoonfuls. Also assume each bean type is as likely to be “scooped”. Finally, assume an infinitely large bowl of soup.

Not universally true but in the context of soup yeah fair point

You can over cook beans.

Soak overnight. Pressure cooker. 30 minutes on high heat. Natural release.

Safe from phytohaemagglutinin poisoning.