Because being a plaything for human entertainment interrupts their daily 20 hour sleep cycle and stresses them out.

Are you sure your package manager settings are allowing third party apps?

4 months seems excessive. I sometimes carry a Leatherman Wave multitool which has a 2.9" blade. It is super sharp and well enough lubricated that I can easily open the tool with one hand. I don’t believe it is any less dangerous to the public. Perhaps I should also go to prison.

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I wouldn’t scramble them first. That introduces air bubbles which will act as an oxidizer, probably shortening the shelf life. I think cracking them into ice cube trays might be a viable option though it would probably be a messy job. It’s easy enough to test.