I think I need to call ICE and turn myself in. I’m from somewhere like Barbados, New Zealand, Uruguay or Italy…I’ve been living in the US for sooooo long that my English is practically perfect. Please deport me. My home country misses my economic contributions.
> go to the US as a traveler from eastern europe > get caught by ice > claim you're a french canadian, your accent is actually just an even weirder french > get deported > free asylum in canada